So I've got a killer headache for the last few days. I don't know if its because of work or what. I took Advil but thats not working!! Since i had off today i took a nap, well tried too, but it didnt go so well. But work has been stressing me out a lot. Theres way to much drama from one girl, she lies to get her way, conplains about the littlest things and everyone is getting tired of it. I'm just irratied with her and another girl. Enough about work.

Last night, rather this morning at 12:19am i got up 1)because i couldn't sleep and 2)for a glass of water. lol i never get up during the night for a glass of water, that was weird!!! I was having trouble falling asleep and i dont see how i had the energy to get out of bed because during the week i have trouble getting up at 7:30am for work. lol



For the El Centro missions trip we have to memorize two verses Romans 3:10 and 6:23.

"there is no one righteous, not even one." 3:10
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." 6:23

I'm excited for this trip, i think that its going to be better than last summer. We've added a few new things like putting a new roof on the pastors house because its caving in and also its expensive. Also were doing a youth group night every night for teens.

A place i visit often.

As much as i dislike going to the cementry, i go for one reason, because my mom's there and its the only place where i get to have some alone time with her and God. Its quiet, no one can interrupt me and its where i've found that its easier to talk to her. I can cry all I want too and no one will hear me. I've always asked this question, "why do bad things happen to good people? Why?"

^

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The year that she was born and passed away.

The wedding day of my dad and mom.

The sun setting this evening. Beautiful!!!

Her grave stone, with the sun setting behind it, which i try to go see every so often to just sit(or stand) and talk to her and hoping that shes listening to me. Sometimes i just go up there and stare at her name wishing she was here. i loved her and still do, i miss her so much!!

LOVE YA MOM!!!! LOVE YA!!!
Bonnie(Bonita) Sue Sinniger

Forgiveness

Why is it so hard to forgive someone especially a family member??



I know i have to forgive him but its so difficult and i haven't forgivin' him yet and its been a little over 2 years now.


Its been an emotional week for me and now I'm finally enjoying a 3 day weekend. No work til Monday!! Now i have time to read and relax and just to slow down. I have to thank my one supervisor for hooking me up this weekend. I just had to get away from work and the people that i work with, well one inparticular, and to get my mind off work. My one supervisor and i had a really deep talk yesterday about his wife and one daughter and another one on the way, the baby should be here sometime in September. I'm excited for them. I've met his wife and daughter a few months ago and their daughter is adorable. But he was telling me yesterday that he wants his kids to grow up in a house that they'll remember for the rest of their lives and such. I totally agree with that. He also said that he'd wish that he would've spent more time with his dad before he passed away and thats when i was about to tear up. He's such an awesome person to talk to.

Somethings missing!!

I hate when someone asks me whats wrong and really there is but i always say nothings wrong than i feel bad. Thats what happened today with my two friends and someone else but i forget who. My two friends and i went to the Manheim Diner to chill this evening and my one friend asked me whats wrong because i was being extremely quiet tonight and i have to agree that i was. After i droped them off i just broke down in tears. I think its because lately i've been thinking of my mom and just wishing, just wishing she were here, then life wouldn't be this way for my dad and i. Every day i look at her picture by my computer and just give her a hug and tell her that i love her, but i can't.

I love watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I was watching it tonight and every Sunday night, it put my in tears. The family tonight lost their father and left behind a wife and 5 kids. He was a pastor at a church and they helped out other families. Thats the one thing that i look forward to that every Sunday night!!

I feel like no one realizes that i'm around and that all my friends use me for a ride here and there. I just don't understand!!!

God does answer prayers!!!

Friday night some friends and i went to the mall just to walk around then we proceeded to Lyndon Diner in Lancaster to chill there for an hour or two. I dropped off my one friend at home and then headed to Ephrata to drop off another person, then then dropped off my two other friends. I didnt get home till midnight and didnt wake up until 2pm today(saturday)!!! It was sweet because i wake up and my grandma's like lunch is ready. I was like perfect timing nonetheless!!

I wrote all of my support letters for the CA missions trip, which by the way I'm so excited to go on again!! I just have to mail them all on Monday.

I was praying that i would get a phone call from my dad on my birthday, which isnt till Wed., i thought that i wasnt gonna get a phone call but he called me on saturday!! I told my one friend yesterday that i probably won't get a phone call from my dad on or before my birthday and i was so surprised to see my dad call me on my cell. He didnt call me to wish me a happy birthday but to ask me if i wanted to out for breakfast with him and Danielle on Tuesday at 730am and i said yea i would love too!! Yea that time will kill me me but i hope its worth getting up that early for breakfast, i just hope it is.

My grandma is having cake and ice cream for my cousin, danielle and i tomorrow because my cousins birthday is on monday and ours is on Wednesday. I cant believe i'll be 21 in 4 days, crazy!!! We're also having bbq, tuna noodle, and a bunch of other stuff too!! im excited.

Also, i can tell its going to be a good week already because my one supervisor at work will be gone for the ENTIRE week!!! it can't get any better than that, can it?? no!!!

I'm so ready for spring!!!!


Thank you God!! its gonna be a GREAT week for me!!!

Feeling...........blah

Well i suppose i shall do another update. The last few weeks have been hard for me. I've been kinda run down i guess. Just some things that have been bothering me at work and with friends. I wish i knew who my true friends are. Its hard to tell.

I'm not feeling very connected with the young adult group at church. I mean, my sister and i and a few others are planning to visit a friend in Philly. I told KP that i have off weekends now and that i'm able to go this time. She never said a thing to me. i had a feeling that she was ignoring me for some odd reason. So I left and went home. last night after i left Friendlys before i sat down, i was driving home and just cried because my sister told me to go home and thats when i did, just because i got mad at her for giving me this attitude after Saturate was done.

Work has been tough to get through lately. At Masonic Village, we're all about being a team player, in other words we try to help out others when they need it. So i had everything done and i was just pretty much standing around, i decided to go up to the line to expoe. Needless to say the servers supervisor came through the door and was like "your not exposing tonight are?" she said it in such a serious tone and i threw out my gloves and let her do it. Then she goes and tells my two supervisors and i was called into the office. Enough of that!!!

Tonight was alright then it got better at the end of the night. I saw my cabin girls from Avalanche and they gave a huge hug and asked me if i missed them and i said OF COURSE!!! Their the milton hershey girls and i love them all so much!! Then Chad said something that made me smile and was like WOW they do really appreicate me!! Tonight before i left the church Chad said to me(not the exact words that he said) "Ash, im so glad that your here and helping out with the small things that i dont have time to do. It helps me out so much and you wouldn't know it. Seriously i really do love having you here." I had to set up the tech crew dinner tonight since Joyce wasnt there and i had to make sure they had food coming and such. I really love serving with the youth staff and doing pretty much whatever they want me too and never complain about it. What Chad said was just what i needed to hear today. i was having a bad day and needed to hear something like that.

A few highlights of the week are....
-i got a new cell phone and im lovin' it. I took a picture of two milton hershey girls that were in my cabin.

-the little bit of snow that we got and thats on the way!!! i so need to wash my car though. its so gross to look at!!!

-I cant wait for Spring to come!!! warm weather, driving with the windows down, blairing my music, and no jackets!!!

-writing my support letters for California! okay thats not a highlight. lol

-playing duck-duck-goosewednesday night after high school and middle school were done, only about 8 of us were playing. we were standing in a circle and Jen goes around saying duck-duck-goose.

-playing in the air band wednesday night around 8:15pm because we had nothing to do. Jen, ashleigh, and i want to enter American Idol and play our air band for them and sing off key!!! i so wanna do that though!!!

-a week till i turn 21!!! im so excited, okay not really, its just another year older, another year closer to retirement, and another year gone by.




I've been hearing stuff about Lent, i'm so confused about it. the first time that i've heard about Lent was a year ago but i never understood it. so confused!!