Drugged up!!

For the past few nights i have been taking the
Nighttime,
sniffling,
sneezing,
coughing,
aching,
sleep better
to feel better
medicine...

NYQUIL!!!!

I love NyQuil when i'm sick and i dont get sick often either. I've been sick now for a week and a half now and im finally getting better, slowly!!! YAY for NyQuil and feeling better!!!!

I got back safely from Pittsburgh and wow it was amazing there. Sometime soon I'm heading to North Carolina to see my cousin and his wife Ashley and their little boy(which i havent seen yet in person) Austin James....He's gonna be tall because he has his dads genes. I heard that Austin started walking without shoes, lol, hes having problems walking with shoes on, so hopefully when i go down there that he'll be walking with shoes on.

Heres two pictures that i think are the best ones that i have of him recently but he's gotten so much bigger since these were taken. hes a little over a year old i think....
Heres my cousin, Matt holding Austin while taking a nap!! He was in the marines but his 4 years or so were up in January, hes glad to be at home with Austin and Ashley.

Heres a picture of Austin at the hospital in NC. He's so adorable.

I'm heading to NC sometime around Easter or before. I'm so excited. I love to travel by car, plane, whatever!!! lol

So work has been crazy lately. There are a few times where i just wanna quit and leave right on the spot. I try so hard to do my job and i still get yelled at. Thats one thing that bothers me because i got yelled at by my dad wat too much when i was younger and half the time its not my fault.

Yesterday was Inside Out for the Middle school students at the church. First off, I was talking to Joyce and whatnot then Chad, the most amazing person around comes up to me to see if i would run to Darrenkamps to get drinks for the tech crew dinner and of course i went to get drinks for him. As i proceded downstairs Pearl, another awesome person, says "hey Ash!!" im the tone of voice as if i did something, but she just wanted to know if i would drive for the Inside Out thing and of course since I'm such a flexible person and i had nothing to do i drove Bri, a 6th grade leader, Missy and Vicki to Friendlys in Lancaster to hand out flyers and Missy and Vicki are the most talkative 6th graders i know!!!! They were awesome!!! then i went home to get some rest for work in the morning. I felt like crap all day yesterday and today. The feeling where i just wanna crawl in bed and sleep all day.



this is going to be a totally different subject now......
sometimes i wonder if people enjoy being around me, i mean sometimes i get the feeling that im being ignored and i have been ignored by a few people, especially on tuesday night. I'm not going into details. I just wanted to go home and just sob, thats how bad i felt. Theres another thing thats been bugging me but since that person has asked for my forgiveness the other night, i forgave him for what he did. Yea it was nothing huge, he thought it was the youth camcorder but later found out that it wasnt and called me the following night just to say he was really sorry and asked if i could forgive him. To me that was awesome what he did and he made a few comments about the video, saying that there was a lot of my cabin and thats the reason why he taped over it and he also said something at it not making the cut for the DVD. I was about in tears when he said all that to me and i was in tears when he called me to say he was sorry.

well im done for tonight i gtg before i fall asleep at my computer!!! lol

PITTSBURGH for the weekend

I feel like a train hit me right now, i cant even breathe through my nose, i have a fever, sore throat, cough and i feel tired all day. I wish i wasnt so sick then id have the enjoy the weekend in Pittsburgh.

Well I'm here in Pittsburgh, Home of the Super Bowl XL Champs. I'm here visiting friends for the weekend. Right now I'm not feeling 100% because I'm really sick and in pittsburgh, I probably should be in bed right now at home sleeping, but I wanted to come out to Pittsburgh and see the beautiful Steel City. The apartment that my friend has an amazing view of the city, shes on the eighth floor and i think it has like 25 floors, seriously the building is so amazingly high.

Tomorrow i plan on going shopping here in Pittsburgh, oh tonight we went to a resturant called Fat Heads, they has ridiculiously huge burgers but their so freakin amazing, i couldnt eat it all; one, i dont feel well and two they were huge.

Right now we're watching Waiting. Its about a resturant that this one kid gets a job at, its kinda humorious. I've never seen it but i've heard about it.

Well I'm going to go and watch a movie then get some rest afterwards. I'll be home on sunday sometime. I'm probably gonna get drugged up on NyQuill tonight so i can sleep a full night for once. I will see everyone back in Manheim later. Have fun.......it took us like 3.5 hours to get here and now im so tired....later all

Encounter

I just got back from the Middle School Winter Retreat, Avalanche. It was such an awesome weekend, just to get away from work, to slow down and focus on God, and also to connect with the middle schoolers, which by the way I did!! I had a cabin of girls from MHS plus 3 that weren’t. To be honest I wasn’t all that excited to go on the retreat because I didn’t know any of the girls in the cabin, but now that I look back I’m so glad that I got to go and meet the MHS girls. They were so wild, they brought a fart machine and played the noise all night on Saturday, lol….I probably got like 4 or 5 hours of sleep that night, plus the beds weren’t that comfortable either. I have a few stories to share on here……….

Friday before we left the church this one middle schooler that I know fairly well, Julia Fisher, had a real deep conversation, lol, ok not really… so here it is….I forget all what I said at that time but heres like two lines….it was all out of fun……
ME: “Your face!!”
JF: “Your moms face!!”
On Sunday as we were putting our luggage on the coaches JF comes up to me and says, “I’ve wounded you when I said “your moms face” on Friday and I’m so sorry. I realized it after I said it.” I told here that I forgive her and that she’s the most awesomest person around, lol….i guess that the students really did listen to Keith speak…that’s awesome…

Heres another one….
The last few weeks I’ve been having a hard time at work and two Sundays ago there were these three middle guys that I know fairly well and they were kind of giving a hard time while I was in the info. booth, while there were people asking me questions and I couldn’t really answer them because I was busy watching the 3 guys. Well on Friday night before the gathering, I think, two of the guys come up to me and starts pushing me towards the cars and I constantly told them to stop and they wouldn’t. So Matt’s walking towards the auditorium with me and he’s like why are they pushing you, and I told matt I have no idea. So Matt grabs me and was like “where are the guys?” I showed him and we had a conversation that I will never ever forget.
Matt: why are you guys picking on ash?
Gregg F.’s friend, I forget his name: because she’s so awesome and she’s pretty much the only one that we can have fun with. Gregg F.: yea, she’s so cool!!

They did say that they were sorry and I could really tell that they meant it.
Then they all gave me a hug and that’s when I started to laugh and I told them that I loved them and that their also such amazing middle schoolers. I told them that I was having a few bad weeks at work to the point where I just wanted to tell my supervisors that I wanted to hand in my two weeks notice. I also told that after the retreat they can pick on me as much as they want too. During the worship part of the evening gathering on Saturday I walked past one of the 3 guys and I gave him a side hug. Middle schoolers have two sides of them and the one side we barely ever see.

On Saturday during the day while everyone went skiing, snowboarding and tubing some of the students stayed back at camp and made shirts, playing basketball, put candy on everyone’s pillow, including the guys and the leaders, and played basketball. I had the opportunity to play basketball with the MHS girls and let me tell ya, some of them are really good, like Morgan. W tried playing a real game but it just got out of hand and we played knockout. I was pretty good until Morgan beat me. lol…. I had a blast with those girls all weekend. Saturday night when Keith was talking about taking a key and what not, I personally didn’t take on only for one reason; I have yet to forgive my dad for what he’s done to me in the past after my mom passed. To me that was not right what he did and I look at it as if he was greedy. It’s hard for me to forgive my dad, I don’t know why though. I do want to forgive my dad but I know it’s not going to be an easy process for me. I don’t know if I CAN forgive him. I just need help on this I guess. I need prayer on this. When we got back to the church on Sunday, one of my girls asked me if I’m going to be at the church on Wednesday and I told yes I would, so I’m excited to see them again.


My Cabin girls that I miss already….
Kristin Grice
Amanda Bordowicz
Nicolette (Nicky) DeJohn
Rasheeda (Cheeda) McLean
Morgan Miilu
Kat Minerva
Allyssa Riker
Rochelle (Rocky) Halteman
Shawne Senft
Michele Shaffer

One thing before I’m done…..When I was walking back from helping the MHS pack up their vans to leave, Jason comes up to me and says that I did a great job this weekend….Thanks Jase, I needed to hear that…..I’m so glad that I had the chance to be apart if this awesome retreat…….

A few memories…….
-the cabin girls playing a prank on Abby
-the walk with Jill N. and a few middle schoolers, so much happened on that walk
-playing basketball with the MHS girls and no guys!!!!
-Keith speaking
-Adam and the band doing an awesome job during the worship
-meeting new middle schoolers
-leading the cabin during our group time
-getting to know the MHS girls and the tough times they’ve gone through
-Kristin waking me up at 2am on Saturday morning because she wasn’t feeling well, I love to woken up at 2am!!
-staying up really late on Friday night and not getting any sleep
-listening to the fart machine all night, lol-the girls drinking 7 bottles of mountain dew in one day to stay up all night


Now its time to get back into reality..........

"He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying. My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want Your will be done, not mine." Matt. 26:29

Snow

So we might be getting some snow this weekend while I'm away. All I have to say is, Its about time!!! I hope we get a blizzard before Spring arrives, that'll be nice. So I'm heading off to a winter retreat, its not winter without snow, haha but it is getting cold.......I'm excited, but I don't know, but I have this weird feeling inside of me, its hard to explain.....ahh well.....

How does it make you feel to know that you are loved by God?
It makes me feel excited because if I'm having a bad/stressful day at work and I feel like no one cares that I had a bad day, that God does.
Why do you think it is difficult at times to truly believe that you are the one who Jesus loves?
Because everything that happened in the past was for a reason and its hard to believe that the reason is good, even though what happened isn't gonna return ever again.






OHH I got this amazing cup at work on Wednesday, it changes color, such as if you put ice and water in it, it changes to purple....Its sweet....We had a pizza party because it is PRIDE IN FOOD SERVICE WEEK, this week.....the pizza wasn't the best, they made it at a kitchen in Masonic Village....I love the message that they wrote, "its not your brothers, or your papas, or your cousins!!" I thought that was hilarious.


Well I'm tired, so I'm gonna go read for a few and then head to bed...goodnight

A need to VENT!!

this week has been a tough week to get through and its almost over. Today(thursday) has been extremely tough, i have never ever gotten upset to the point where i was crying, that was until today. I'm gonna vent in this entry tonight just because i think i need to.
It all started yesterday at work, we already were opened for dinner and Paul(thats the kitchen supervisor) was so where else and i decided to exbo, thats whats we call it when we garnish the dinners, the one server comes up to Paul and is like "its about time you got back, cuz ash is really slow and blah blah blah" and its about 5pm so i was like OKAY im leaving.

Well at work we have 2 part time salad preps, but theres mainly one that comes in at 3pm every day. They have plenty of work to do for the evening, i dont see why they always theres nothing to do, seriously. If theres anything thats not done right I get in trouble because I'm the full time salad prep.

Today the lite desert, which was Banana cake, was dry and the servers supervisor was like "these are all dry, is this all the cake we have?" and said yes and at that point i was crying and she came up to me and said that she wanted to talk to me. So we go in her office and talk. It felt good to just talk. At break Paul comes over to sit with me because i felt like being antisocial today and was like "so talk to me," i told him that i wanted to talk later because there were too many people in the cafe to talk and he told me that we would talk later and we did. I think thats all i needed to do, was talk. It was about one of the salad preps, so Paul told me that him and Russ(head Chef/supervisor), the two salad preps and myslef are going to have to have a little pow wow and i totally agree 100%. This week i have been really really stressed out. Paul is the most understanding supervisor ever, i know i've said that before but he really is. He told me that have to communicate more to him and Russ but thats the one thing that i lack.

Paul said to me that my job shouldn't be stressful anymore because theres a salad prep every day at 3pm. i still don't understand why they cant get everything done. All they have to worry about is two desserts, lite dessert, a second salad, bread and two soups. How difficult is that, seriously!!!

Everyone at work knew i wasnt having a good day. This one server that i know came up to me after i came back from talking with the servers supervisor and shes asked me if i needed a hug and she gave me a hug. Then the one cook wanted to know what the servers supervisor talked to me about and i was loke you dont need to know. Shes that kind of person that HAS to know whats going on in everybodys lives and has to be in everyones business. I'm just tired of a few, very few, people at work.

Wow that feels a little better now, but not for long, one more day of work and the weekend is FINALLY here. I need to relax, now i know why i have high blood pressure. lol

well thats all off my chest, im going to bed, hopefully i can sleep now.