what to talk about...

i don't know what to say here anymore. well I'm here typing while eating an apple, which is mighty tasty after long walk through town!!! I've been on a diet and my goal is 20lbs by the end of March!! I'm not eating pasta, junk food and very little breads. Its been tough for me but I'm pulling through it. The reason why I'm on a diet.............I'll tell ya in another post at a later date!! Dan, my older sister, and my grandparents know why but not anyone else. Its a big surprise and i need to prove Dan wrong that i can make it through. Lets just say its not going to be easy, lol. Its exciting news for me and everyone is going to wait to hear what it is!!

I've been reading Boundaries: When to say Yes, How to say No by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I love it so far!!

~ Lord, I'm not looking forward to this day. Give me something to hope for. I have had this thought for awhile until recently. God's been good to me!!

~Trying harder isn't working.

~Being nice out of fear isn't working.

~Taking responsibility for others isn't working.

~Made in the image of God. we were created to take responsibility for certain tasks. Part of taking responsibility, or ownership, is knowing what is our job, and what isn't.

~It takes wisdom to know what we should be doing and what we shouldn't. We can't do everything!!

~Any confusion of responsibility and ownership in our lives is a problem of boundaries. We need to set mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries for our lives to help us distinguish what is our responsibility and what isn't.

~Dedicated believers struggle with tremendous confusion about when it is biblically appropriate to set limits.

Here are some questions:

-Can i set limits and still be a loving person?

-What are legitimate boundaries?

-What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? This is a big one for me!! I'm afraid I'm going to lose their friendship.

-How do i answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?

-Why do i feel guilty or afraid when i consider setting boundaries?

-How do boundaries relate to submission?

-Aren't boundaries selfish?

Think about them and I'm love to hear feedback as well, just to see what everyone thinks.

~Boundaries define us! They define what is me and what is not me!

~Denying ourselves to do for others what they cannot do for themselves is showing sacrificial love of Christ.

~Everyone has responsibilities that only he or she can carry.

~Greek word for burden means "excess burdens," or burdens that are so heavy that they weigh us down. These burdens are like boulders.

~The Greek word for load means, "cargo," or "the burden of daily toil." These loads are like knapsacks.

~We need to be able to open up our boundaries to let the good in and the bad out. Our fences need gates in them.

~If i find out that i have some pain or sin within, i need to open up and communicate it to God and others, so that i can be healed.

~Boundaries are not walls.

I need to set some boundaries for my life and this book is helping me finds ways to say yes to certain things and to say no.

More later.....

long week....

So this week has been long and rough!!

1) my pap wrecked his truck on the way home from work on friday and totaled it. He walked away with a few bumps and bruises, he wasn't wearing his seatbelt neither!! He was very lucky. He still had to go to LGH to make sure he was fine.

2) his wife(my nan), my coz, his mom, and i went to see him friday night. Nan went to stand up nad threw up. She was throwing up since friday and hasnt eaten anything. It smelled so bad!! It must have been stomach bile or whatever was coming up. She drank coke on the way there and by the time we got there she threw it all back up. Later at LGH she got a gingerale and took a sip and seconds later threw up more. So she's been in at LGH since friday night and might come home monday if all is good. I'm praying everything is going to get better!!! The doctors are doing a bunch of tests on her!!

3) I was blaming a good friend of mine for putting something on my car in the middle of the night and later found out that it wasnt him, it was kids vandalizing cars in my neighborhood and making homemade bombs to blow up peoples mailboxes!! Glue is a pain to get off!!!

Pray that nan gets better and that all the tests come back negative!! We thought that she was going to stay over night but it turned out longer. I have a feeling she might not be able to come home tomorrow. I have a good feeling!! I hope she doesnt have cancer again!!

stuff......

~So i start my other new job at Darrenkamp's on Wednesday. Its my evening job but only part-time! I'm so excited because i didn't think i had the job, but i do. I now get 10% off on groceries and such!

~I've also taken a break from my dad and everything. It's just a big mess and i don't want to be caught in it. Christmas at his house was pretty much crap and i tried to make the best of that evening. My dad has changed because she has changed HIM! No one on in my family likes her because of his change. So this year I'm not going over to his house for a little while. I gave this whole mess up to God a few weeks ago and He's in control of it now.

~I just started reading Boundaries and its so good. I should've read it before i made that decision to move to Ohio and it was a mistake that I'll learn from! I'll have more on that later.

~I've been going on walks with my grandparents puppy, just to get her used to different surroundings. The first day she was going wild and the second day wasn't as bad as the first!

~I've heard from my cousin who is in Baghdad right now. He says its really cold there, 50s during the day and 30s at night!!! He can't wait to come home and he just left! lol but i love him and miss him!!! the left picture is of him, his younger brother and mom.

~He was nervous about going over and really didn't want to go, but he had to!! I can't wait to see pictures!!