Thinking

This week has been kinda stressful for and yet i only work mon thru fri 9-5....Friday i just wanted to find a place to crawl up in and just cry. My one supervisor could tell and he's not afraid to come up to me and say "Evil(thats my nickname at work, its a joke and the story on how i got that name is for another day) you look unhappy/frustrated, talk to me." and he'll actually listen and give me advice. When a supervisor sits and listens to you talk thats awesome. I told him that i was and the reason why and he totally can see why im so unhappy right now at work. I love him so much. He's the most understanding supervisor that i've ever had.

Well enough of that.

39 days til i turn 21!!! not counting tonight bc its almost over.

6 months til CA!!! thats too long

I was over at Jason and Jennys house for a little bit this afternoon, Jason left to go do something which took a few minutes and Jenny and i were having different comversations and then she asked me if i ever go over to his house to see him and i was honest and said no. I would love to hang out with my dad more but everytime i call their house i always get this one girl and shes so stinkin' rude to me. Its like i cant even call to see if Dan's there or my dad. I dont get, I never did a single thing to her. Like the other night, I was trying to get a hold of Dan by calling her cell seriously like 10 times and no one answered. So the last resort was to call the house and that girl anwsered, First off i asked her if Dan was there(there was a pause for a minute or two) shes like why dont you call her cell? i tried like 10 times and no one answered(then there was another pause) and she comes back saying "Yea she is", i was like "um can i talk to her please(once again another pause)" "yea i guess."

Its like they dont want Dan and I to talk to each other or something. We're sisters, We're twins!!! lol Some days i feel like my dad doesnt want anything to do with me, but i sit and think that I have friends at church that are like family to me. I have this one Junior highers mom that i call "mom." She's so easy to talk to about anything. She gives me a hug everytime she sees me on Sundays. i just love her so much and she has a daughter thats just so amazing.

theres this one song thats by Simple Plan, its called Welcome to My Life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

thats one of my many favorite songs right now.

i was thinking about somthing and now iforget because i was going to post it on here, but i totally forget, im such a loser....well on that note...im going to bed....night

Loving the baby room Jase!! lovin' it....very impressed that you did some work this afternoon,lol JK!!!

Big Ben and the STEELERS!!

Ben Rothlisberger was amazing yesterday. The Steelers played as a team, stayed relaxed and finished strong. I was so excited that they won. Well I wasn't surprised that they beat the Broncos at all. They beat the Colts by a field goal and I’m still shocked that the Punter missed that field goal. Jerome "the Bus" Bettis is going home for the Super Bowl. I guess that’s where he grew up and Big Ben promised that he was going home.

On Saturday I went to The Afters concert…The Secrecy was good, The Evan Anthem was alright, but The Afters were AMAZING!!! I was debating if it was worth buying their CD, but I did buy it and had them sign it……that’s all I listen to in my car, lol…sad I guess….but it’s a really, really good CD…..heres a song that I like…..

All That I Am-The Afters
I feel a burning, deep inside of me
I feel Your Spirit, It’s moving around me
I hear Your voice, You’re calling me closer
I know You’re here, You’re calling me closer
and I will

Love You with all of my heart
Jesus I’ll love You with all of my mind
Jesus I’ll love You with all of my soul
Jesus I’ll love You with all that I am

I know that You hear me when I say my prayers
I know that You’re with me even when I’m all alone
When I close my eyes, You’re calling me closer
When I pull away, You’re pulling me closer
and I will

Chorus

You are holy, Lord God Almighty
You are holy, Lord God Almighty
Who Was and Is and soon will come again
Lord you are and now You’re coming again
Just like you said, You’re coming again
and I will

Chorus

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After the game was over, I took a nap for a few hours since i wasn't feeling well....

so heres more from the book that I’m reading.......the chapters titled A Broken Philosophy

-But isn't there something comforting about having a consistent moral boundary?

-Moral relativism can't give you hope or peace or answers for life.

-When people decide there are no more moral boundaries, that there's no right and wrong, they often conclude that everything is meaningless and they might as well do......whatever.

-There is no standard of right and wrong-except for when you violate what we say is right.

-Moral relativism just flat doesn't work.

-If moral relativism doesn't work, why are there so many moral relativists? ---I really like that question a lot...

-Moral relativists are a lot like those climbers.(they told a story about rock climbers, I’m not going to type it all) They know in their hearts that their life philosophy doesn't work, but they divert themselves with drugs or music or nonstop activity.

-Their whole lives are spent trying to avoid what they subconsciously already know-that their lives are meaningless and empty. Yet they keep putting their carabiners in the loose bolts, hoping they don't fall.

-I'm convinced that the reason people buy into moral relativism is that they're getting something out of it, something they don't want to give up. Maybe it's the chemical rush of drugs or alcohol. Maybe it's the thrill of breaking the rules. Maybe it's the short-lived fun of commitment-free sex.

-Why, if they're not suicidal, would they intentionally kill themselves? Because they're getting something out of it.

-Moral relativism is the same philosophy that Satan used to deceive Adam and Eve. He's still using it today.

-Moral relativism is also cool because it lets you be kinda-sorta everything.

-What’s the downside of moral relativism? It’s an empty existence. It’s fun when things are going well, but what does it offer when you’re down? Who are you going to lean on when life starts falling apart?

-Of course, the Christian life is a harder path.

-“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matt. 7:13-14

-The other road is much wider and you’ll have tons of friends there. It’s easier to go that way because everybody else is doing it.

-He is the only one who will never leave you, no matter what you’ve done or where you go. He is your heart’s true home.

-You just can’t be a moral relativist and a Christian at the same time. That’s like being dead and alive at the same time.

I havent gotten sick for months now, but the last few days i have felt like a train hit me or something....i had to go into work today because the one kid was on the line doing apps. and the other salad prep wasnt coming in til 3pm....i so wanted to call off this morning but since im the first one in at 9am no ones there to answer the phone, so i guess if im sick or not i have to be at work.....lol......

well heres more points that stuck out to me from the book im reading......

-Moral relativism doesnt work.
-Tolerance is a virtue of those who believe in nothing.
-One of the foundations of moral relativism is that there is no unchanging standard of right and wrong.
-What do you call a philosophy that forcefully and consistently violates its own central pillar of belief???
Broken.
Unstable.
False.
WRONG!!

-Jesus isnt one alternative among many. He's not one of the ways to God. HE IS THE WAY.
"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

-Jesus divides people. He unites the, too, but when it comes to what you believe, there's no halfway with Jesus. You're either with Him-or against Him. There is no alternative.

"If we claim to be without sin, we decieve oursleves and the truth is not in us." 1 John 1:8

Christians worship God and manage the earth, while moral relativists worship the earth and disregard God.

Moral relativism is a broken cistern (water jug) that can't even hold water. It leaks. It's false bread that promises to fill you up yet can't satisfy your deep hunger.

untitled

So started reading my Bible every day either in the morning or in the evening, depends if i can get outta bed the morning..lol..i guess i have to get motivated to get up early but recently i've been getting up at 730am and by the time i actually get OUTTA bed its 8am ir a little after that, i leave for work at 830am......right now im reading Romans......

Cry Out To Jesus by Third Day
To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When your lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

wow 51 days til im 21!!!! its about time......lol.....

hope everyone has a wonderful week........i know i wont...well its not gonna be a fun week for me.......

Be intolerant

Well last night i got Third Day's new CD...i love it!!! then i was looking a books, i used to read like every day, but......anyways i got this book called Be Intolerant.......its a really good book.....i read the first Chapter last night.....

here are a few points that i got out of the book......

Moral Relativism-is a way of looking at the world that says what is right or wrong for you depends on what you think is morally right or wrong. In other words, everything is relative.

So with moral relativism everything's up to me(you).

Moral Relativism looks like a TUMOR.......this is what TUMOR means...
TOLERANT
UNTRADITIONAL
MARGINALIZED
OUTDOORS
REPROBATE

I dont feel like explaining them all at the moment...i'll write more about them in my next post....

Our God is "father to the fatherless, a defender for widows" Psalms 68:5

Like cancer, moral relativism is a life-threatening problem that wont go away by itself. The TUMOR has to come out.

just a few things that kinda stuck out to me......

memories

::EDIT:: Im so excited that the Steelers won, 31-17....thats right.....now they play the Colts on Sunday at 1pm..and ofcoarse they'll win again....Super here we(steelers) come!!!

STEELERS ARE GOING ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPER BOWL!!

i was looking back on some old pictures this afternoon that i have...i wish i had a scanner so i can post them....

i got a few postcards from Colorado when my dad and 2 sisters and I drove out there in the summer of 2000...it was awesome out there, i loved it......i got a whole bunch of photos from Wyoming and Colorado....

ahh , theres an old elementary school picture of me....

pictures of my grandma's retirement party that family members threw for her...

another bad picture of me when my family went to Florida...its a picture in our hotel room....the hotel we stayed at was beautiful..

the pictures i love the MOST is the pictures of my dog Chance......i miss him so much, my dad got rid of him when he got remarried.....i cried when i was told that by my sister......he was taken to a humane league......i wish he was still around here.....

can you believe that i used to be this cute, shy, quiet, adorable little girl...and now look at me...lol

i also have photos from Work Week like 2 years ago

Longwood Gardens is amazing, i went there on a field trip, it was an ALL DAY field trip too...

i have a very old picture of my dad, mom, my older sister and danielle and i were very little....i cant even tell whos who outta danielle and i....lol

softball pictures as well

i have so many pictures, i dont feel like typing anymore....so thats all

i have so many memories from the past, its crazy...lol

Orange Bowl

I watched the Orange Bowl last night only til midnight because i read an article on the internet this morning that they went into a TRIPLE OT and that both punters missed the field goals, finally PSU's punter won the game for them. 26-23....couldn't have asked for a better game than that one....it was a close game the entire time...to be honest i didnt think that PSU was going to win...the game started at 8pm and ended at 1am this morning.....

i was just wondering why the news always talks about how many Americans are killed in Iraq....i mean thats all i hear on tv.....

^^ok that was a random question, but whatever, lol......

so my New Year Resolution is:
- -is to read my Bible every day...i've been slacking on that....terribly...
-- having quiet times with God....


well thats all!!

A New Year

i feel like crying right now....im just so irritated i guess.... :(

so i didnt stay up to watch a rose or pickle or goat or cow or whatever they drop on tv, i went to bed at like 1130pm...then my cell rings and i look at it and i didnt know the number so i put it on silent and went back to bed....found out it was my friend friends mom trying to find her, she lives in Ephrata...

going to rent a few movies today so i have something to watch tonight, i have a few movies in mind...

Its a new year for fresh starts. Its gonna be a long year and rough times, but i know with God's help im gonna make it through another year.

i really dont know what to say, lol..is that bad?? oh well..lol

i was trying to put pictures on here, but my computers being stupid and isnt working right, idk stupid computers, lol JK i love computers, only when they work.


nothing but the blood

Your blood speaks a better word
Than all the empty claims I've heard upon this earth
Speaks righteousness for me
And stands in my defense
Jesus it's Your blood (x2)

[Chorus]

What can wash away our sins?
What can make us whole again?
Nothing but the blood
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

What can wash us pure as snow?
Welcomed as the friends of God
Nothing but Your blood
Nothing but Your blood King Jesus

Your cross testifies in grace
Tells of the Father's heart to make a way for us
Now boldly we approach
Not by earthly confidence
It's only by Your blood

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?"-Romans 8:31